Is The Astrologer Treasure or Trash?

Blu-ray Distributed By Severin / February 25, 2020

Before he became NYC’s favorite ’80s action auteur with hits like THE EXTERMINATOR, THE PROTECTOR and SHAKEDOWN, as well as executive producer of grindhouse classics that included MANIAC COP, FRANKENHOOKER and BASKET CASE 2 & 3, writer/director James Glickenhaus made his feature debut with this bizarre tale of government skullduggery, satanic killings, zodiacal mayhem and messianic horror. Playboy centerfold Monica Tidwell (NOCTURNA) stars in the “ultra-obscure and undeniably fascinating” (Fright.com) thriller. Also known as SUICIDE CULT and a one-time U.K. Section 3 ‘Video Nasty’, THE ASTROLOGER is based on the acclaimed novel by John Cameron. Now featuring a 4k scan from the director’s personal answer print and loaded with all-new Special Features.

Jamie’s Take  (2 / 5)

Oh brother – why do I get the hard ones? When I was at the 48 minute mark I paused The Astrologer and knew I was in trouble. Writing reviews of bad movies is easy. Writing reviews on good movies isn’t too tough. It’s these odd little movies that often confuse or I find incoherent but also can see some promise and potential…that I just don’t know what to say. I’m gonna give it a shot.

First off, The Astrologer (also known as Suicide Cult, a more exploitative and silly title) is so damn 70’s that if you don’t enjoy / respect 70’s cinema it is best to just not watch it. Everything from the pacing, primitive effects, styles…this film will make you grow extra pubic hair and want to burn your bra. I caught myself saying out loud, “That’s so 70’s.” There is a scene that takes place in a library where I even chuckled at how 70’s everything looked from the spiral staircase and white backgrounds to the card catalog…ok you get the point. This film is fucking 70’s as hell and the opening credits alone will have you long for the days of Nova and In Search Of…

Now as for the plot…hee hee…you got me. While not as abstract as a David Lynch or Alejandro Jodorowsky film, The Astrologer is pretty far out there. It’s convoluted storyline, while interesting, is just too complicated and muddled for its own good.  The movie is about a scientist named Alexei (played by Bob Bird who never went on to do another film and isn’t that bad) who studies Zodiac signs, believing that there is an evil force in the form of an Indian cult leader that is trying to kill the second coming of Christ. It is his belief that a virgin will give birth to this child which may also happen to be Alexei’s wife Kate (Playboy Playmate Monica Tidwell) and that two forces of good and evil are trying to seek out this child and…yeah I don’t know friends…I’m having a hard time trying to make heads or tails out of this one.

Alexei won’t make love to Kate as he is studying his wife to see if she is in fact a virgin, the Indian cult leader is able to cause non-believers to commit suicide, there is a subplot about merging astrology into computers…oh yeah and throw in some tarot card readers and a friend of Kate’s that is a complete waste of a red herring and you have yourself a major head scratcher from the guy who gave us Slaughter of the Innocents .

Oddly enough, while the film has way too much plot for more than three movies, The Astrologer is only a 79 minute film that does fly by. Director James Glickenhaus also provides some creepy atmosphere when the film starts to get bogged down in plot. The performances are by mostly amateurs but are shockingly not bad, proving that Glickenhaus is a talented director and for a first film debut, he does ok. This may be one of the few times where studio interference or a more hands on producer could have benefitted in dialing back Glickenhaus’s mad film. There is a good film in here somewhere but there is just way too much going on plot-wise to make heads or tails out of it. The Astrologer is also based on a book by John Cameron which I think may have been a book that could not (or should not) have been adapted.

Severin once again provides a fairly decent blu ray and while the film was shot on a very low budget and the negative may not be in best shape, they go to great strengths to provide a film with near picture perfect clarity. There are all too brief interviews with Glickenhaus (the special features could have benefitted from an audio commentary track) Tidwell and a few crew members. There is also a quick featurette on the locations where the movie was shot (NYC, upstate NY, and Boston are just a few of the locations that this low budget shocker was filmed at). That is it. Not even a trailer and I’m not even sure if this film ever had one.

I’m at a loss for words…hell I don’t even know how to end this review. I have a hard time saying this film is even a “horror” movie although there are some genuine creepy moments (I’d say science fiction more than anything and that’s debatable). If “batshit” or “WTF?” was ever a category, The Astrologer would fit right in.

Jamie says: One’s Trash is Another’s Treasure.

Jamie's Take:	(2.0 / 5)
Blu-ray Extras:	(3.0 / 5)
Average:	(2.5 / 5)

Special Features:

• Sign of the Times – James Glickenhaus on THE ASTROLOGER
• Monica and THE ASTROLOGER – Interview with Actress Monica Tidwell
• Tales from the Set – Interviews with Filmmakers Brendan Faulkner and Frank M. Farel
• Zodiacal Locations – The Filming Sites of THE ASTROLOGER.