Hands of Steel (Code Red Blu-ray Review)

Is Hands of Steel a Hidden Treasure or Dumpster Fire?

Blu-ray Distributed By: Code Red DVD / February 7, 2017

Jamie’s Take (3 / 5)

Hands of Steel is not for everyone. Most will dispose of it as a “bad action movie” that rips-off The Terminator and Mad Max (some will even say Over the Top but this film predates Over the Top by a year) but if one can allow themselves to put away their snobbish attitudes and just enjoy Hands of Steel for what it is, there is some goofy entertainment that provides some good laughs and nostalgia from the great decade of the 1980’s.

Daniel Greene (he’s in all the Farrelly Brother movies) is Paco, a cyborg that is programmed to kill a blind scientist that holds some sort of secret that can stop the destruction of man-kind for it is the “near future” where acid rain, bikers, and homeless people run rampant. Feeling conflicted, Paco takes off and hides in a remote isolated gas station that also serves as a diner and hotel where bikers and hookers go to have sex and arm wrestle (no joke).

Meanwhile, John Saxon plays Francis Turner who is the head of this organization that wants Paco returned to him or dead. He hires several hit men and assassins to bring Paco back or kill him but Paco dispatches his enemies without a beat. Maybe my favorite moment is this female cyborg punk with glowing eyes going after Paco until he rips her head off.

Hands of Steel takes some time finding its footing and that is what hurts the movie for me. I had no idea what the hell was going on most of the time and while I embrace bat-shit insanity in my movies, at least give me some practical gore effects or some big ol’ titties bouncing about and Hands of Steel finally provides but not until the action-packed, violent third act. As much as the arm wrestling scenes are funny (why is everyone so damn sweaty?) it gets tiresome and boring. Thankfully the third act picks up and provides a lot of what I wanted in this type of film. I think most fans of the genre will enjoy it.

Code Red’s blu-ray looks great, just a really nice transfer. I was shocked at how well this U.S. / Italian action film looked. Code Red once again provides some great transfers on these forgotten gems. Code Red even goes out of their way to provide interviews with some of the cast and discuss Sergio Martino’s pseudonym and the death of one of the actor’s who died tragically in a helicopter crash.

North’s Take (3 / 5)

A middling Italian cash-in which takes much too long to get to the good stuff. Once it does this becomes an entertaining mess. I’m a sucker for anyone screaming and delivering devastating blows to craniums. Having Hands of Steel is also useful for a simultaneous reverse bitch-slap, which I can’t say I’ve ever seen before. I typically abhor CGI, but there is some very, very, very, early wireframe computer animation in this, which I’ll allow since it basically draws a giant misshapen cock. So this not only anticipated Over the Top, it also predicted what the majority of computers are used for in the future. I’m still waiting for car dissolving acid rain and cumbersome personal laser rifles.

Jimbo’s Take (3.5 / 5)

Step one. Remove brain from skull.

Step two. Arrghhhh…

As both North and Jamie point out, Hands of Steel offers everything from sweaty men arm wrestling, to personal laser guns. It’s a near future apocalypse that forgets (at least the art department forgot) about halfway through the film that it is the apocalypse. But that’s not where the flaws end.

The reason Jamie says “Hands of Steel is not for everyone” and North says it “takes too long to get to the good stuff” is a simple matter of poor story structure. In a traditional narrative sense, the entire first act does little more than establish a “hurt Earth” environment. As I’ve already mentioned the film forgets about this little detail halfway through the film rendering the first 30 minutes virtually irrelevant.

More head scratching is the abrupt ending. Anyone accustomed to Italian trash will not be surprised by this. The Italians are pretty good at abruptly ending their features and tacking on some title card to “explain” the ending. Hands of Steel doesn’t disappoint in this department, and really should be seen to be appreciated.

In order for the film to have broader appeal or “get to the good stuff,” the story should have actually started in the second act when Paco arrives at the run down motel operated by Linda (Janet Agren). The end of the film offers and interesting pivot point for a finale where Paco’s humanity could be rediscovered with Linda. In this sense, the film also predates James Cameron’s Terminator 2, with Paco representing the sympathetic “machine of death.”

Oh, but I realize we’ve all just given away a major spoiler – Paco is a cyborg. At least this should be a spoiler. Except it’s not because all of the marketing material gives the “twist” away. Even if you don’t watch the film’s trailer, you are not going to miss the poster art which showcases Daniel Greene sporting an awesome robo-hand!

The script actually structures this detail perfectly, burying this “twist” deep into the second act. Without any of the marketing trying desperately to tie this film to The Terminator, audiences may have been a little more surprised to learn Paco’s true identity. The film should have been marketed as a post-apocalyptic western, but on the flip side are you more interested in watching a western or Terminator rip-off?

The last thing I’ll note is the on-set death of actor Claudio Cassinelli. The blu-ray supplemental features go into even greater heartbreaking detail, but in short Cassinelli died while shooting one of the helicopter action sequences. He was in the helicopter as it hit a bridge and fell hundreds of feet into a ravine. His character is only in the latter half of the film, and his untimely death offers another weird structural inconsistency to the film as director Sergio Martino had to find a way to develop a secondary antagonist for both the beginning and ending of the film.

Considering all of the challenges the production befell, Hands of Steel is a pretty accomplished and impressive picture. Yes, it has loads of cheese. The men are sweaty, beefy and don’t frig. But there’s John Saxon! The film could have used more blood, boobs, or excessive violence to push its exploitation boundaries. However, for what it is, I was incredibly entertained and satisfied.

Code Red produced an amazing blu-ray with incredible video and extras to boot! If you don’t want to take the plunge on the blu-ray just yet, Hands of Steel is currently available to stream for Amazon Prime members. You can support Trash Men by clicking the link above or below. And you support Code Red’s ability to bring more obscure titles when you watch and buy. So I strongly encourage you to do so!